My friends often ponder over my eccentric and charming ways. They ask, “Dick, how does one remain so confident and charismatic, and still look exquisite in everything one does?” I usually avoid this question with a hearty laugh and a swig of whisky before cracking some clever joke to distract their wanting desires. But today is your lucky day dear hearts, as I reveal the truth behind this very question.
There is a ‘code’ ladies and gents that I like to live my extraordinary life by. A code simply known by as The Gentleman’s Code. An unspoken code taken up, understood, and policed by gentlemen all over the world.
The Gentleman’s Code
Appreciate true quality – A Gentleman shall be always mindful of his attire, as the ubiquitous saying goes ‘A Gentleman’s outfit is the window to his soul,’ and since it doesn’t get much more transparent than a window, you’d better make those boxer shorts a top priority.
A gentleman never deceives – It’s poor form to pull the wool over the eyes of our dear friends and family. Secret agents are the only fellows who can add an air of intrigue and excitement to ‘living a lie’. Therefore always ensure your appearance and actions are a dapper indication of ‘what lies beneath’.
Keep your wits about you – If you can keep your wits about you while all others are losing theirs, and blaming you. The world will be yours and everything in it, what’s more, you’ll be a man, my son. (Rudyard Kipling/Dick Winters).
Always be prepared – Swiss army knife, whistle, clean pair of pants, that kind of thing.
Don’t misappropriate the cocktail – Relaxing with a cocktail is a fine pastime for any gentleman, indeed the last word in sophistication. However, not when cobbled together into some lurid vulgarity that would make even Liberace wince. Umbrellas are for beaches, not for beverages.
Grow for Show – If a fellow is to be taken seriously then it is essential he acquires the finest facial accoutrement he can muster. History has shown that the larger a fellow’s moustache the greater his ability to inspire reverence.The beard has vital properties in protecting the face during cold snaps ensuring a chap is always well presented.
Don’t live a little, live a lot – Always strive to be a one-off; a genuine character. A splash of cheekiness, a flirtation with debauchery and a nod of the trilby to tomfoolery.
Never be ordinary, be extraordinary – Bottomline is, if you spot the insidious corrosive and silent spread of global ordinariness reaching your underwear drawer, do not conform. We’ve a pair of refreshingly indulgent, very proper undies for any of life’s occasions!
So, this isn’t a conservative or liberal ideal. Nor is it limited to the buttoned up or flamboyant. The code has been passed down through generations, for all gentlemen to live by. And now, you can too chaps.